Black sheep of a notably dark flock, Theoretical Girls disregard many of the harsher No Wave sensibilities in favor of the trammeling pop-centric feel prevailing in the hearts and minds of the pre-Neuromancer American Sprawl. As the Radio Free Europe of the No Wave scene, their tactics hardly complement the libidinal dissonance of counterparts in the East Village, embracing instead an amalgamation of new and no waves instantly recognizable as a more tuneful vehicle for compositional deconstruction. Jeffery Lohn and Glenn Branca, the Girls' chief contributors, both studied the arts in northeastern colleges before immigrating to New York's West Village scene. This academic art-house background shows in the band's dependence on pop, classical compositions, and the socio-political themes of many of their songs, which sharply contrasts the egotist musings of the No New Yorkers. Not to say that they sound alabaster; their furrows into noise just sound more surgical and contrapuntal than the emotional collapse of Chance and Lunch. The Girls trudge through the same murky feedback as their cohorts, they just remembered to wear their Wellingtons.
Theoretical Girls remain the most recognizable of the West Village No Wave groups, despite a dearth of recordings prior to this 2002 release, due primarily to Glenn Branca's continued success as a contemporary composer. No New York, the compilation produced by Brian Eno that introduced the world to the sub-sub-culture of the Greenwich Village scene, raises the bedraggled No Wave banner over only four bands, casting the rest of what was a vibrant rock 'n' roll community into shadow. The collection focuses on the incestuous East Village scene, providing ethnographic and aesthetic cohesion to a dissociative musical movement steeped in dementia and thorny manifestos. Being collected and experimentally inconsistent, the Girls lack in these qualities in every respect. Speculations as to their exclusion from No New York range from cabalistic East Villagers to Lohn's opinion of the project and persons involved, none of which hold water. The bestial sound captured by No New York does not suffer timid exploration, the Girls' chief vocation, and this best explains their absence from the record.
All this might not matter if Theoretical Girls had released more than one single in 20 years, but internal wrangling and preemptive releases of Branca's contributions forestalled any publication. In 2002, Lohn was able to press the long lost Theoretical album and secure a place at the table for the band. The final cut of Theoretical Girls is a markedly fickle collection of live, studio, and home recordings. Many of the early cuts are agitated rock songs with panicked rhythm guitar and ambivalent, subterranean vocals corroded as much by poor recording as by artistic intent, though always to the intended dystopic effect. Comparisons to Devo and The Velvet Underground will and have been made, although Lohn insists on a conceptual (rather than imitative) origin for Theoretical Girls' sound. The standout track, "Chicita Bonita," is a No Wave carbuncle both hideous and rare: a despondent, temperamental car wreck of a song, aggressively tearing through five minutes and ending in a self-satisfied smirk of the victimized suburbanite. "Computer Dating," while subdued, is certainly the most pretentious art-rock on the record, a nod perhaps to the Girls' bohemian training. Elements of coffee house wit find their way into the muted Freud of "Mom and Dad" and even their low-concept theme song "Theoretical Girls" less obtrusively, and never quite enough to ruin a song's acerbic qualities. "U.S. Millie," the only single released by the band before this collection veers off course from the No Wave (and Theoretical Girls) aesthetic, fiercely exposes the eclectic, experimental character of the group.
Theoretical Girls fall in frenetic equivocation between high and low art. They feel comfortable to thrash out jagged punk rock, content with the brutal sound that lands them in the No Wave roster. Simultaneously, the Girls delve into a framework of decay and deconstruction in a systematic fashion, composing pieces that highlight the intellectual themes of No Wave with less of the primeval impulses. Glenn Branca has certainly embraced the avant-garde in his experimentation, but that sheds little light on the dynamics of the Girls, as separating the classical inspirations from the No Wave ruckus would leave a sore ear indeed. The Theoretical Girls have a hard time reconciling their marriage of classical and punk, plagued by the pugnacity of the latter. They do a helluva job trying though, and churn out some meaty cuts in the process.
1. Theoretical Girls
2. Lovin in the Red
3. Computer Dating
4. Europe Man
5. Contrary Motion
6. Mom and Dad
7. U.S. Mille
8. No More Sex
9. Keyboard Etude
10. Nato
11. Electronic Angie (Short Version)
12. Chicita Bonita
13. Polytonal
14. Parlez-Vous Francais
15. Theoretical Girls (Studio)
16. Chicita Bonita (Second Version)
17. Lovin in the Red (Second Version)
18. Electronic Angie (Second Version)
19. Computer Dating (Second Version)
